Welcome to My Journey

This past year - 2010/2011 - has been one of great challenge and discovery, not all of it pleasant. As one phase of my life ends and another begins, I invite you to join me on my journey.

The title of this blog, "Exodus ~ my journey to the Promised Land," refers to a process of emerging from a life of bondage to sin into a new life in Jesus Christ. Here, you will find my thoughts, prayers, prose, questions, answers, struggles and triumphs. And since photgraphy is the primary activity that keeps me sane, you'll find some of my creative work here, as well.

Some of what I share will be quite personal; it is my hope and prayer that anyone reading it will not be dismayed by the challenges, but rather encouraged by GOD's mercy, love and grace as I leave behind my old life and discover who I am in Christ.

Comments and questions are always welcomed. Be Blessed!

Friday, August 26, 2011

It Can Only Get Better From Here...Right?

Today did not start out well. I have an attitude this morning and, although my Beloved is cheerful and doing well mood-wise, I am irritable and snippy and whiney.  The sun is out and the sky is blue for the first time in several days, but I cannot appreciate it because all I can think of is, "we're getting divorced."

But then, I opened my "Love Letter" a few minutes ago and my heart is touched by the words I read...

My Bride,I came for you to experience a meaningful life; a life filled with divine intervention; a life that leaves a legacy. I want to invite you to Lose yourself in Me today and you will find renewed passion for living and the peace your heart longs for.

If you will look today towards heaven instead of around you, I will open your eyes to the many blessings you may be missing. I want to be the One to bring delight to your day. Take a chance with your Savior and Let go of your will for today and grab hold of Mine.

It's time, My beloved, to let Your Lord show you the real way to live a day with Me--to walk knowing you are blessed by Me. Now take a deep breath and receive my life-giving, soul-satisfying day that is yours for the asking!

Love,
Your Prince and Joy


In today's post there is also a prayer - which I did actually pray aloud - that speaks what is in my heart --



A Prayer to My Prince,

Are you really the One who can lift my spirits and show me the way to a life of joy and happiness? I so want to believe You. I want to grab hold of Your hand and let You lead me to Your divine love. So take me me Lord and show me the way of life.

Amen

I don't know how many more days my Beloved and I will have together as Husband and wife. I know that our love for one another will not die, but it's also a real possibility that we will never have a committed union together ever again.  I am praying that the remainder of our time together will be calm, peaceful, friendly, respectful and that I will be able to show GOD's love for my Husband regardless of the circumstances.

Be Blessed ~ klb

Thursday, August 25, 2011

The Lord will perfect that which concerns me...

I subscribe to a daily email called, His Princess Love Letters by Sheri Rose Shepherd. This morning's post was titled, "Open Your Gifts." 

 My Gifted Bride,
I have placed a gift inside your soul that will bring you great joy and purpose. It's buried inside you waiting to be discovered. Don't let it be swallowed up by daily distractions and drowned by disappointment.

When you are ready to open your heart to Me and receive from your eternal Husband, I will show you how to unwrap your hopes and dreams and teach you to be who I made you to be. I am the giver of every good and perfect gift, so don't be afraid, My beloved to believe what I say.


The gift I offer you is everlasting and priceless.

Love,
Your Gift-giving Prince


"The LORD will perfect that which concerns me;
         Your mercy, O LORD, endures forever;
         Do not forsake the works of Your hands."
Psalm 138:8 NKJV


One of the "gifts" I believe the Lord has given me is that of creativity - specifically in the area of photography. He has blessed me with a "photographer's eye" and I often literally feel a thrill rush through me when I happen upon a scene or object that cries out to be captured on {digital} film. Along with shooting the photos, I also delight in the digital processing of them - increasing contrast, adding a soft blur or desaturating the colors to change the mood of a photo.  In addition, I enjoy using digital textures and brushes to add an artistic quality to my images and I often include a word, quote or Scripture to express my faith, offer encouragement or share a message.

Something I've been considering off and on for a couple of years has now become an every day thought -- going public with my photo art and offering pieces for sale online. I am eager to do this, yet also reluctant to put myself "out there" and open my heart to yet more rejection. If this idea works, I may be able to supplement my income - a definite necessity - but more importantly, I will be able to share my faith, my witness to GOD's beauty, majesty, mercy, grace and love.  My objective would not be to make money, but to share the love of Christ with those who would see my pieces.  The joy is in the process and in knowing that others are being touched.

But, rejection is still a big thing for me and with what I am going through now - the end of my marriage - I don't know if it's worth the risk. Plus, if I go to the expense and energy of setting up shop online and nothing sells -- that's money I cannot afford to lose. On the other hand, is it realistic to expect success right away?  It could take several months before I see any interest in my work.  When I post things in my photo blog or on Facebook, a few people will comment on the work, but often, no one even looks.  So what if the same thing happens with an online shop?

Well, maybe I should read through that letter from my King again and take to heart what He's saying to me, "...don't be afraid, Beloved..."  I guess I should gather up my pennies and get a few of my pieces printed out to make sure they are good enough to actually sell.  If so, I'll begin the process of opening a shop. If not -- back to the drawing board.

Be Blessed ~ klb

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I Can Do ALL Things Through CHRIST Who Strengthens Me

Even this.


In my mind's eye, I see myself stepping through a portal. The opening through which I've come softly closes behind me as I gaze about in wonder at this new land, this never-before-experienced world where I, as a middle-aged woman, feel both bewilderment and excitement.  It's rather like the scene in the Wizard of Oz movie when Dorothy steps out of her black & white world and sees color for the first time. I am eager to begin my new life, my journey to discover who I am in Christ, yet I am tempted to keep a foot stuck in that portal - reluctant to completely separate myself from my black & white world where life is familiar, even if it's not all that comfortable or safe.  But it's familiar - and in that, I find security.


Perhaps I should back up a bit and explain a few things. At this point in my life, I am not a new convert to Christianity. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour in April 1984 and have been walking with Him these past 27+ years. True -- I have not always walked with both feet on the path, so to speak.  There have been times of stumbling, times of wandering and times of firmly marching the straight-and-narrow - but Jesus has been walking with me every step of the way. And during those times when my feet left the path, I believe He waited patiently for my return, always ready and eager to reach out His hand and pull me close when I'd lose my way and call out to Him.  Like a lost lamb bleating for her Shepherd.


Given our history together then, why do I claim that I am now breaking out of bondage to sin? Didn't I do that when I got saved? Well yes, in one way I did. When I humbled myself before the Lord, confessed my sins and sought His forgiveness, He literally wiped the slate clean; removed my sin as far as the east is from the west. But I have come to realize that when we ask Jesus to come live in us and we become GOD's child and a fellow-heir with Christ, that doesn't mean the rest of our lives will be perfect, or that WE will be perfect because of our salvation.  It is a life-long process. Things happen - good and evil - that the Father uses to shape us and mold us into the image of the Son. In some ways, over the years I have come to resemble Jesus -- but there is still part of my character that is pharisaical (judgemental, critical, etc) and that has caused me to behave in way that does not display the Christ-like characteristics of love, mercy and grace.  That, right there, is a big part of the darkness I'm choosing to leave behind.


Another part of the life I'm leaving behind, is that of being a wife. After a nearly 20-year relationship - 17 of them as Husband & wife - it was agreed yesterday that we will dissolve our union.  To be honest, I am heart-broken as I love my Husband very much -- but I am not "broken" because of this.  My heart is somewhat fragile and tender at the moment, but though this season of my life is ending, I'm still here and I know GOD has something planned for me.  Something far grander than I can even imagine.  It is my hope and prayer that my Beloved and I will one day be reunited and our marriage restored, but how it all turns out will be revealed in time.


In GOD's perfect time.


Meanwhile, I look forward to learning more about who "kimmie" really is; about how my Abba-Father sees me. I offer myself up to Him, to become all that He has created me to be. As I begin this new part of my life, I pray that all that I do and have and am will bring glory, honor and praise to His Name and will draw others to the saving love of Jesus Christ.


Thanks for joining me on my journey ~ klb